The Best Dog in the World

If you've ever wondered what the best dog in the world looks like; he looks a lot like this...

He never came to us as a little puppy.  

Three days old -
I'm not sure which one of these puppies he is - but I'm pretty sure he is the one closest to the food.

From the moment we collected him he was "a BIG dog".  From the tips of his silky soft ears to his enormous, digestive smelling paws everything about him was big.  But he was the best puppy in the world.

We bought him to heal our hearts as we knew we were losing Doug.  We wanted Dilly to have a companion but we didn't want to feel like we were replacing Doug, so when Helon told me that her brother in law's dog had a litter of Labrador puppies, we claimed one.

Of course he came from a  prestigious lineage.  His grandfather was one of the Andrex puppies and the Kennel Club called him Knockglass Magic Cola.

But we called him Beans - because he was full of beans and somewhat flatulant.

This is Beans the puppy meeting Dilly and Doug for the first time.

It seemed to us like a good idea to have three dogs as the kitchen was being extended.  The house was already chaotic so what additional mayhem could be added by a not so little puppy?

We could excuse the shredded tissue on the exuberance of puppyhood, but remember that this is the best dog in the world.  The three dimensional carpet additions were courtesy of the mischievous Dilly.  Our house was chaotic indeed but not because of the puppy!  I do not exaggerate when I tell you that he had ONE accident in the house before he was toilet trained.

From their first encounter Beans fell completely in love with Dilly.

He followed her everywhere.

She did her best to teach him how to be good....

But she had too much mischief to properly train the best dog in the world.

In spite of this mischief, Dilly was one of his greatest loves.

Not a reflection, just Dilly's shadow

Wherever, Dilly was, Beans was beside her.

Then, one day, almost two years ago, Dilly went somewhere Beans could not follow.

I don't think that I'm anthropomorphising his grief when we lost her.  He knew that she was gone, but he missed her desperately.  I became his "Dilly".  If I left a room, he followed.  

I'm not sure that his heart ever fully recovered but he had his other great loves.

There was of course, his master.

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."

This Josh Billings quote was made manifest in the love Beans had for Jonathan.

The look of love

Three dogs, but only one is facing his master and lying on his feet.

His master loved him too

His favourite place in the world to sleep was on Jonathan's feet (although in later years he couldn't wait for evening time when he could snuggle up beside me on the sofa - but after an hour or so, he would jump down and find a foot to lie by)

Going anywhere with his master filled Beans with joy, but going for a walk hit the jackpot!

He loved his morning constitutional at Hazlebank

A puppy in the park

But he also loved Woodburn

and the Cave Hill

He loved the rest of his pack too.

Initially he tolerated Bea, I think because he was so aware of his enormity and scared of hurting her.  
But as she grew, so did his love.

He indulged her, patiently allowing her to dress him up with a variety of accessories.

... a beautiful necklace...

... geeky glasses...

... a superdog disguise ...

... Dad's Gran Fondo medal ...

... Reindeer antlers ...

... a beautiful sun hat...

Crowned "the best dog in the world"

His indulgence extended to acting as a pony or a seat whenever the situation required it.

The little girl was part of his pack and he would follow her wherever she wanted to take him.  No one would ever mess with her when she had him by her side.

This was largely due to his substantial bulk.

When people met him many remarked on how handsome he was, and how BIG he was.  Many were suspicious when they asked what breed he was and we told them "Labrador"

"I've never seen one that BIG before!"

His size, and the fact that as he aged he looked like he would suit some gold rapper style bling, necessitated a spelling change from Beans to Beanz.

He was huge!  Placing your hand on his head, his skull more than filled your palm.

But this bulk was matched by his ability to love and be loved.

One of his particular friends was Jacob.  

As a very little boy, Jacob was terrified of dogs.  Then, at Castlewellan Holiday Week, one year he fell in love with Beanz.  Dilly always keen for an adventure, pulled hard on her lead.  Beanz was content to walk by Jonathan's side.  (Another requirement for "best dog in the world" status)  

This enabled Jacob to walk Beanz up to the tent for morning worship.

For Jacob, this was perhaps the highlight of his holiday.

Beanz also empathised with Jacob during a bug hunt with too many midges.

Every subsequent year, Beanz was Jacob's "Castlewellan Dog"

(occasionally they reunited outside of Castlewellan - at Tollymore at Easter for eggsample)

As the years passed, and Dilly's arthritis made her pulling cease, other little people could walk with her, but Beanz remained Jacob's dog.

It was only with a special dispensation from Jacob that other little people could walk Beanz up the hill.  

This permission was freely granted when they were walking to a Disney party which he was much too grown up for

There was something about Castlewellan though that made Beanz a little naughty.  Perhaps overwhelmed by a holiday frenzy, Castlewellan was the only place he was mischievous.

Evie, Jacob's sister was determined to walk Beanz.  So one rainy afternoon while Jacob was off having boy's own adventures in the forest, Bea, Evie, Zelda and I all headed off to the gardens.  Evie was walking Beanz (Dilly stayed behind in the caravan as she was too old for all this nonesense). Perhaps it was because his master was not with him, but as we walked across the open grass, Beanz spotted Max (a black labrador of whom he was inexplicably suspicious).  Beanz accelerated.  This unexpected burst of speed shocked Evie and swept her off her feet.  The acceleration continued and Evie, too bewildered to know what to do held tightly to the lead.  Beanz bounded.  Evie bounced.  Naughty dog!  

Practicing the virtues instilled during the holiday week, Evie forgave Beanz but developed an understandable preference for walking Dilly.

Then, about three years ago, lust burned brightly in the old man.  He took rather a fancy to a pretty golden labrador who was in heat and camping close to the toilet block.  Even though they met only once and she stayed but one night, Beanz would disappear regularly to her pitch.  We would find him where she had been.  One Sunday afternoon we left the dogs in the caravan as we went for lunch, with a window slightly open.  We returned to find the window fully open, Dilly relaxing by the caravan and Beanz...guess where?

That same year, late on a Thursday night he disappeared.  All campers in the circle were mobilised to search for him.  Can you imagine the difficulty of hunting for a dark brown dog on a dark black night?    We searched the woods, the empty campsite of his crush but he was nowhere to be found.  

Not so coincidentally as you may imagine, on the other side of the campsite, the Youth Team were having their barbecue.  I have no idea how many teens had their burger with a side of beans!

He was not a perfect dog.  

This is no disqualification for his title of "The Best Dog in the World"

I may be somewhat biassed when I say that in addition to being the "Best Dog in the World" Beanz was also one of the most handsome.

Especially when he would bring his ears forward.  

He also had a tremendous fondness for tennis balls.  I would be fair to say that all of the tennis balls in the world belonged to him and he could fit four in his mouth at any one time.

"Throw the ball again!"

He was a big, loving, strong brute of a bear who for the vast majority of his life was blessed with enviable good health.  He had excellent hips and would always entertain visitors as he lay, like a bearskin rug on the floor - back legs sticking straight out.  But the inevitable impact of age allowed arthritis to thicken his joints.

Beanz never complained however.  Indeed the first time I think that he noticed that his legs wouldn't do what he wanted them to do was last autumn.  On a morning at the Argory, Beanz decided that he would try to descend the riverbank for a drink.  The look in his brown eyes when he realised that he couldn't get back up the bank was heartbreaking.  

The fear turned to panic until he realised that we wouldn't abandon him and Jonathan set about rescuing him.

Silly old dog ought to know we would never abandon him.  However, we would roll him in the grass to rid him of the sludgy mud before allowing him back in the car.

Another sign of his ageing was not only the handsome greys added to his chin or the odd lump and skin tag which appeared, but the loss of his hearing.

With Dilly we were never sure if she was deaf or just ignoring us.  With Beanz the opposite was almost true.  He would always rush to greet us - we seldom needed to call him.  Eventually we discovered that it wasn't because he could hear us; he either smelt us, or more often, watched Daisy intently to see what she was up to.  He used this cunning strategy to alert him to the opening of the food cupboard.  We realised that he was totally deaf when a crash of his food dish elicited no response from him.

This brings me to another of Beanz's loves.  

Food.  

This could arguably be his greatest love.  

As he has gotten older, he has become increasingly impatient for his next meal.  On mornings when I'm getting ready for work, I am hurried along by Beanz.  He physically noses me out of the door to speed the arrival of his jumbone.  In the evenings, as soon as Jonathan dismounts his bike Beanz relentlessly nudges him and honks at him until his dinner is served (and consumed within seconds).  He loves breakfast, dinner and everything in between.  Human scraps are particularly valued.  Chop bones can be crunched into dust in less than a minute, but Beanz will gratefully accept ANYTHING you give him.

His love for food and his huge furry feet, render something significantly hobbit - like about this dog.

He has taught his protege Daisy to eat her food quickly.  He torments her if she delays, lying beside her bowl, just waiting to check for leftovers.

She in turn torments him.  From running headlong into to him, leaping onto his back, stealing his bed and leaping onto the sofa beside a human before he gets the chance.  But she also loves him.

As Dilly aged, we knew that Beanz couldn't cope on his own, so we got him a puppy.  

Although Daisy was also for Bea too... a little girl needs a puppy.

We picked a little sprocker spaniel.  

Our departure from our theme of "chocolate lab" surprised some people.  But Beanz was the very best dog in the world to whom any other lab would draw a poor comparison.  That is unfair pressure to put on any dog.  Daisy is full of mischief, adventure and the spirit of Dilly, so she provides an entertaining contrast.

Daisy does indulge Beanz with the companionship and affection that he needs whenever we are away.

He has really never been alone.  

Recently this has created some problems.

About two and a half years ago we noticed the Beans started breathing strangely when we were walking - sounding like he was straining on his lead as he walked by your side.  The vet advised us that he had laryngeal paralysis.  This happens when the vocal folds are unable to open.  The solution required surgery, a considerable recovery period and a post operative risk if gulping food.  For a 10 year old dog, who inhales his food, there was no way we would put him through the operation.

So, for about 18 months, Beanz huffed and puffed when he was walking and bizarrely lost his ability to bark.  He sounded link a dirty old man when he came and breathed heavily at you to get your attention.  His potential as a ninja assassin was totally lost by this disability.  

His voice has returned in the past year and our shock when he found it was immense.  As you could imagine, there is a substantial, hearty bark that emanates from his furry throat.  

(A wolf like howl can also be encouraged and this, for many years was Beanz's party piece.  Jonathan would howl, Beanz would join in and together they would sing... no one quite knew what this meant)

Everybody howling

For a time, life continued as normal.  Beanz and Daisy enjoyed their morning constitutional at Hazlebank and loved a ramble around the lake at Castlewellan.

We always had to pause at the Moorish Tower for a photo.  Daisy would investigate the undergrowth and Beanz would lie at my feet.  But as he struggled to breathe, occasionally he would require a longer lie down along the path.

From time to time, his tongue would have a bluish tinge, which we discovered meant that he wasn't getting sufficient oxygen.  But, a little rest refreshed him and once he had got his breath back he was up an off again, able to earn his "King of the Mountain" jersey as he reached the top of Slievenaslatt.

This continued until one afternoon when Jonathan had taken the dogs to Woodburn.  Beanz had made it down to the reservoir, but could go no further.  Jonathan hoisted him onto his shoulders and carried him, uphill, back to the car.  He was rewarded with a little sigh and a gentle lick from time to time as they journeyed back.

Beanz looks quite comfortable like this, but it's definitely not a practical way to walk your dog.

(Perhaps it reminded him a little of his puppyhood)

Thus Beanz's bimbles were reduced to a walk to Hazlebank.  By last year, even that had become too much.  He would collapse before he even reached the park.  So a new tradition was formed.  Jonathan drove to the park and as Daisy careered around the open space, Beanz sedately sauntered along the paths.

Beanz's 12th birthday

Heat affected his breathing badly.  As we basked in the glorious hot weather in Co Kerry, we had to spray Beanz in water and keep him in the shade.  There was a little dog walk at the campsite beside a stream and if we drove to the start of it Beanz could have a little adventure.

But in the heat of the afternoon, even as short walk on a short beach exhausted him.

The drive home was excruciating as he struggled with the heat the entire journey.  At times I wondered if he would make it home.

At Castlewellan that year it was a blessing that the marque by the castle had been replaced by the school hall, in which dogs were not allowed as Beanz could only manage a walk to the maze and back again.

(Incidentally, it was at Castlewellan about five years ago that we discovered another of Beanz's passions.  He just loved sitting in the boot of the car, watching the world go by.  Occasionally he would attract some new friend to join him.)

Life continued through the winter, albeit at a much slower pace for Beanz.  He still managed his circle around the park until about ten weeks ago.

The adage "the spirit is willing but the flesh is week" is true for this big pup.  As Jonathan and Daisy departed without him in the morning, he would lie forlornly in the hall barking until they returned.  Someone always needed to stay behind with him, as if abandoned he would fret, howl and grumble until, finally, the door opened again.  He simply cannot bear to be alone.  But the flesh continued to weaken and he struggled to make it up the stairs or into the garden.  A walk to the garage could leave him lying, gasping for breath.  But come evening, he would jump onto the sofa beside his humans and snuggle in.

"Having a dog will bless you with many of the happiest days of your life, and one of the worst."

We knew that that day was rapidly approaching.  We dreaded it's coming.

We were not alone.  The unconditional love he gave earned Beanz many friends who would happily argue that he was the "Best Dog in the World".

This story draws to a close, as all stories must when I say that today was that day.

There are only two things that could stop Beanz being named the Best Dog in the world.

Firstly...the pungency of his legendary flatulence which could make your eyes water and strip paint from the walls 

Secondly, that his leaving has broken our hearts.

One question remains.  Would I trade this sadness for a life without Beanz?

Never.

It was a honour to love the best dog in the world.

"Beanz will be happy that he's with Dilly again" - Beatrice